Welcome to the
Writer’s BlockBuster

Here is a sampling from more than 900 titles for books that haven’t been written yet (or even thought of), to aid the constipated writer. If you can't take pen to paper and don't have one idea in your empty head, this book can give you a gentle push. I have annotated some of the titles with possible plot lines or content.

Parsing Farsi

Vaginal Geographics

Default is Such a Nasty Word

Don't Knock Linoleum

My Night With Morphine

The Queen of Indefatigable

The Last Butter Churn in New York

The Best of Bestiality

Forget the Will, Execute the Kids

Enema of the People

Throat Exercises for the Would-Be Yodeler

The Partially Sated Fresser
He could never get enough ruggelach; she only baked yearly. An intense love story of desire and unfulfillment.

The Great Cleavage Coverup

The Right Rich People

Chow Down Face First
The most recent addition to the propriety guides, written by a disgruntled grandaughter of Emily Post.

Kings Don't Generally Have Fat Faces

The Too-Merry Widow
He died. She danced. And all the townsfolk looked askance.

From Ear Wax To Tapers In 10 Easy Steps

Critical Smut

Real People Can't Stand Up In Short Spaces

Mortgaged To The Hilton

A Penchant For Gore

Too Late, Too Slow, Too Low
A Real Estate Loser's Guide

Call Me "Doktah"! or What's in a Name?

Two Nuns And A Pack Mule

Tennis Court: A Legal Volley

Get There by Bering Strait

Lad Lust: A Biography of Sophocles.

Divorce: The First Conscious Decision

The Exchequer: Memories of Chubby 1950-1968

The Family Thighs

A Fixture Is Worth A Thousand Ergs

Pants Around the Ankles and Other Troublesome Syndromes

The Rise and Fall of the French Souffle

Exodust: The Story of Moses Leading His People Out of the Desert

How to Raise A Racist

Creative Suicide

The Down Side of Symbiosis

Get Thee to a Swannery
Her name was Leda. She was on the run. There was only one place to hide.

Savvy Trekking

Morning Becomes Electrified

The Harlot’s Letter
Hester Pryncess tells all about her years in the brothel.

How to Tell the Whore Shoes from the Horse Shoes

Half a Giraffe, Whole Hog

Beware the Brides of March

Clambering Wasn't A Jewish Trait
A Yeshiva graduate remembers sitting, bending, standing slouching, swaying and sitting.

From Bar Talk to Bartok: A Better First Date

Spreading Across America: AIDS, Waistlines and Butter

The Pregnant Pause Man

Impaled on a String of Barbs
Vlad the Obscure garrotes his victims with four-letter Anglo Saxon epithets.

The Stonefaced Mutterer
She swore she heard the statue speak and millions travelled to her shrine to bear witness.

The Complete Guide to Start-ups for Prodigious Up-starts

If you like these titles and crave more, or if you wonder about possible characters to go into your unwritten book, visit Convoluted Characters to get some ideas.

If you would like to own the complete Writer's BlockBuster, click here >PHD



Paula Hollins holds the copyright to all artwork, photography, and written material on this website, unless otherwise noted.  Website design and construction by Paula Hollins and Ken Clark, November 2000.  E-mail:  phdink@aol.com