Welcome to the
Writer’s BlockBuster ©1986
Here is a sampling from more than 900 titles for books that haven’t been written yet (or even thought of), to aid the constipated writer. If you can't take pen to paper and don't have one idea in your empty head, this book can give you a gentle push. I have annotated some of the titles with possible plot lines or content.
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Vaginal Geographics
Default is Such a Nasty Word
Don't Knock Linoleum
My Night With Morphine
The Queen of Indefatigable
The Last Butter Churn in New York
The Best of Bestiality
Forget the Will, Execute the Kids
Enema of the People
Throat Exercises for the Would-Be Yodeler
The Partially Sated Fresser
He could never get enough ruggelach; she only baked yearly. An intense love story of desire and unfulfillment.
The Great Cleavage Coverup
The Right Rich People
Chow Down Face First
The most recent addition to the propriety guides, written by a disgruntled grandaughter of Emily Post.
Kings Don't Generally Have Fat Faces
The Too-Merry Widow
He died. She danced. And all the townsfolk looked askance.
From Ear Wax To Tapers In 10 Easy Steps
Critical Smut
Real People Can't Stand Up In Short Spaces
Mortgaged To The Hilton
A Penchant For Gore
Too Late, Too Slow, Too Low
A Real Estate Loser's Guide
Call Me "Doktah"! or What's in a Name?
Two Nuns And A Pack Mule
Tennis Court: A Legal Volley
Get There by Bering Strait
Lad Lust: A Biography of Sophocles.
Divorce: The First Conscious Decision
The Exchequer: Memories of Chubby 1950-1968
The Family Thighs
A Fixture Is Worth A Thousand Ergs
Pants Around the Ankles and Other Troublesome Syndromes
The Rise and Fall of the French Souffle
Exodust: The Story of Moses Leading His People Out of the Desert
How to Raise A Racist
Creative Suicide
The Down Side of Symbiosis
Get Thee to a Swannery
Her name was Leda. She was on the run. There was only one place to hide.
Savvy Trekking
Morning Becomes Electrified
The Harlot’s Letter
Hester Pryncess tells all about her years in the brothel.
How to Tell the Whore Shoes from the Horse Shoes
Half a Giraffe, Whole Hog
Beware the Brides of March
Clambering Wasn't A Jewish Trait
A Yeshiva graduate remembers sitting, bending, standing slouching, swaying and sitting.
From Bar Talk to Bartok: A Better First Date
Spreading Across America: AIDS, Waistlines and Butter
The Pregnant Pause Man
Impaled on a String of Barbs
Vlad the Obscure garrotes his victims with four-letter Anglo Saxon epithets.
The Stonefaced Mutterer
She swore she heard the statue speak and millions travelled to her shrine to bear witness.
The Complete Guide to Start-ups for Prodigious Up-starts
- If you like these titles and crave more, or if you wonder about possible characters to go into your unwritten book, visit Convoluted Characters to get some ideas.
If you would like to own the complete Writer's BlockBuster, click here >PHD
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