Abandonment - Everyone present for a contract signing but the buyer.

Absentee Owner - Any property holder with I.Q. under three digits

Accord - Small car driven by agents not yet able to afford Mercedes.

Acre - Necessary space for a family of six in Utah, a family of four in Eastern Suburbia, and 500,000 people in NYC.

Anchor Tenant - Tenant covered by Stabilization or Rent Control.

A.R.M. - First part of body that is twisted during real estate negotiations.

Asking Price - Amount set on property that brokers think is too high, sellers think is too low, and buyers think will be twice the final selling price.

At risk rules - Game rules in Advance Fee which govern whether or not to taste the seller’s porridge, sit in his rocking chair, or worse, sleep in his bed.

Backup Contract - Contract written in such a way that it raises everyone's hackles.

Base line - "Your property is worthless."

Bay - Sound emanating from those worn thin in real estate transactions.

Bay Window - Site at which baying occurs.

Block - Derogatory reference to buyer's or seller's head.

Blockbusting - Convincing stubborn party in real estate transaction to see your point of view.

Boring Test - Real estate licensing exam that probes deeply.

Borough - To dig a deep hole and crawl in when humiliated.

Cap - Small beret worn on head to keep brains from blowing out when interest rates rise.

Cellar - Owner of property who wishes to sell lower portion of his/her building.

Circuit Breaker - Purchaser who goes directly to seller, by-passing real estate sales agent.

Closing - Act of God.

Closing Statement - "Thank God".

Concrete - Substance in which feet of buyers and sellers get stuck.

Cratering - Act of hurling oneself from skyscraper when depressed.

Cul-de-sac - Bag in which legal contracts are carried.

Deal - Distribute cards on rental properties.

Debtor's Position - Prone.

Deed of Trust - Salesperson loaning the buyer a down payment.

Defective Title - Sir Dr. John Smith, Esq., III.

Developer - Muscle builder who converts raw land into housing.

Dummy - Same as absentee owner.

Easement - The right of one agency to trespass on another agency's exclusive property.

Egress - Escape clause that permits buyer or seller to get out of deal.

Endorsement - Broker patting self on back.

Equitable Title - “I’m OK, You’re OK”.

Estate - 500,000 acre ranch tract in Texas, 3 acre tract in Westchester County, NY, and 1500 square feet residence in NYC.

Et ux. - Eat your wife.

Execute - To end the life of a troublesome person in a deal.

Extension - Time elapsed between a bank deposit and the clearance of funds.