Herein follow just a few samples of 75 character sketches for the person with writer's block. These are invented people who are described in poetic form to help the writer who has nary an idea in his/her head. This book of characterizations accompanies the
Writer’s BlockBuster ©1986
| Typhoid Mary Poppins Not a damsel in distress and not a gal demure; she had a troubling rare disease for which there was no cure. Instead of doing civic work and helping pain to ease, she slid down chimneys in the night and helped to spread disease. |
| Emanuel Ax Murderer He mauled piano solos and he screwed up all the runs. He fumbled with the ivory keys, and wrong cadenzas spun. The critics held their ears and moaned could not the gaffs believe; and when he butchered the best parts, they all axed him to leave. |
| Jesse James Beard Ride, shoot, steal, rustle boil, steam, saute brussels; round the ranch, the plain, the plateau boeuf a la orange en paupiette to go. |
| Eartha Kitt Carson Dark throaty cat voice jazz tones, blues choice purred on a white stallion mezmerized a battalion. At the Apollo was charmin' out west was disarmin'. |
| Papa Doc Severinsen Down in Haiti all around the isle this jazz guy played tunes with style. Islanders heard his music as cruel but he used his dis-chords to maintain the rule. |
| Jesse Norman Mailer Her voice was a bell like soft corn silk smooth, melefluous. Her mien charismatic, operatic not superfluous. So imagine the shock and dismay midst the throng when she belted staccato “The Executioner’s Song”. |
| Christopher Robin Hood He rode with a gang of thugs and bears who lived in wooded lush green lairs. Instead of giving cash to the poor they rustled bee hives by the score. His thirst for honey was unquenchable, you couldn’t stop him - he was not benchable. On finding a hive, I am told, he gulped it down, that pot of gold. |
| Mapoor Patella Mapoor Patella, unhappy fella, born to Untouchable caste; forced daily to grovel from palace to hovel, prayed that an end should come fast. To his knees relegated, all of life second-rated, found his lot too much to bear; so he finally conceded a third-rate orthopedist each of his knees could repair. The repair ineffective left him sorely dejected, the caste system he strongly maligned. “I’ll find a head-shrinker, become a clear thinker, put an end to the life I’ve consigned." When enlightenment came |
| Popinjay Warts He dressed to the nines, his clothing was fine; he wouldn’t be caught dead in “thermal”. There was but one blight for him a great plight, an inherited gene that was dermal. |
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Nanky Poop
Three little maids were very silly running around all willy-nilly; trying so hard to get the scoop and watch unnoticed, Nanky Poop. |
| Sir Isaac Figg Newton Climbing to his tree-top perch, toting figs to aid his search; He dropped a couple far below.... Squish squash, they landed in a row. This all gave Isaac food for thought, “I’ve found the answer that I sought. What goes up, must sure come down. A theory for gravity I have found.” “And just to help me earn some money, I’ll sell some sweets with figs and honey. I’ll need a name that’s rootin’ tootin’. They should sell well if they’re called ‘Figg Newtons.’ |
| Groucho Marxman A grumpy guy, and funny, too famous for quick retort, he made his name in comedy then switched to killer sport. |
| Billie Jean King Arthur Ashe Double the trouble double the fun two tennis players rolled into one. Known for their skill known for their loyalty connected forever by mythical royalty. |
| Virginia Woolfman By day she wrote insightful text that rambled through her mind; at dusk she went into the night to see what she could find. Her role as female was conflictual she craved events to change her; so nightly she sought human victual by strangling random strangers. |
| Mata Hari Krishna The Spy who came in from the cold, you have heard was no foolish, rat-talker stool pigeon. But one day while quite tired of intrigue and guns hired, She turned in her badge, got religion. On street corners she sang |
| Rosa Parks Herself "Coloreds in the Back”, the sign read. Rosa took a seat up front, instead. And there she sat, determined, firm. Neither tear gas nor taunts, nor jail made her squirm. The driver threatened, the people shouted; no way she’d let herself be outed. A great fire she stoked, a battle helped win; fierce pride in herself, equal rights for all kin. If time leaves you stoic and dead on a shelf, think of how Rosa parked herself. |
| Beauty and the Breast A lovely lass, a beauteous creature her up-turned globes were her proudest feature. And though her breasts were great, single or double they really caused her endless trouble. Sent off to live with a horrid beast her status as a Vargas gal, just ceased. And ogling men in all shapes and sizes no longer stared at her two prizes. The beast, he loved her sorely well but ‘twas her cannine teeth drove him mad as hell. He said, “This is the acid test, give me your cannines, I love them best.” “With my canine teeth I can easily part, but my up-turned breasts are too close to my heart.” So she held to her breasts, ‘bout her teeth didn’t care and the beast kept her always in his gussied up lair. |
Convoluted Characters, a book of 75+ poems
that bring to life the invented character names,
Click here > PHD
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